I am Happy

Dear Family, Friends and the people of Minnesota,

Ever since I was 4 or 5 years old, I knew that there was something different about me, growing up in a small town I did not have a vocabulary to describe what was different. It wasn’t until I was 18 years old and serving on my local church’s pastoral search committee that I finally had words for what I had thought and felt, I was gay. Four years after learning that word, I came out to a very small number of people and a year after that I came out to the world. The name on my college diploma almost guaranteed me a job in the field that I wanted to work in but my personal life, which I refused to live in quietly, guaranteed I would be never be offered a job in that field. That was almost 10 years ago.

10 years ago I was terrified I would lose everything, my family, my friends, my ability to get a job in my chosen field, that I would not find someone to love or to love me back. Some of those fears did come true, I did lose friends and mentors and to avoid rejection or have to “explain myself” I choose to pursue a different career path. 10 years ago, I never expected to be where I am now, happy, with a job that I love and more importantly with a partner (and family) who loves me for exactly who I am.

We are no different from any other couple. Like many other couples, a mutual friend introduced us. We’ve stumbled through our first date, first kiss and every other first that all couples experience with a mix of awkwardness, grace, tears, love and humor. Just like any other human being I would do anything for my partner to protect her, to cheer her up, to defend her, or to take care of her.

The amendment that the people of Minnesota will be voting on in November is to ask the people of Minnesota to legalize discrimination. Minus the pronouns in the above, this story could describe any two people who love each other. I am not asking to be married in your church. What I am asking is for you to put yourself in my shoes. If my partner were to become sick, I may not be allowed to visit her in the hospital, I am not allowed to make medical decisions for her even though I know what she wants because she has told me. If we were to have children together and something happened to my partner I may not be allowed visitation rights let alone custody of our child.

This is not a moral issue. It is a human issue. Please, put yourself in my shoes, how would you feel if you could not visit your husband or wife in the hospital or object to invasive medical care you know that they would not want. How would you feel if you were never allowed to see your children again because legally you have no rights. You may not agree with me, you may think I am damned and going to hell but you know what, love is love.

Gandhi said “I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians, They are nothing like your Christ.” Christ lived a life of love, acceptance, forgiveness and tolerance, not hatred, discrimination, intolerance and segregation.

10 years ago I NEVER thought I would be were I am now. I am happy.

Peace,

Ryanne